Family life, Featured, Lifestyle

M(ommy) I(n) A(ction)

12. November 2016

I just recently learned what MIA means (🙈), but it feels odd to apologize for it cause I don’t know if you even missed me. Just in case you did – I’m deeply sorry!!
It feels like forever that I haven’t wrote a blog post. I’ve been a M(ommy) I(n) A(ction) those last few months…ya, I know this is not the precise meaning, but you surly don’t mind my adjustment!
Just in time for my baby girl’s 4 months birthday I finally found the time to write a little update and let you know how we’ve been!

 

Our little wonder girl, Lani Isabella, is growing way too fast for my taste, but also am I majorly relieved that this first time is over as she has been struggling with abdominal colic so badly. 124 sleepless nights and countless tears cried.
There have been days when I felt like a complete wrack…an unshowered, sleep-deprived, messy, exhausted shadow of myself.
„Stop crying…please, baby girl…stop crying! Mama tries everything to make you feel better!!“ My heart is breaking every time I see those big tear drops rolling down her cheeks. I’m sure every parent knows this awful feeling of helplessness – of not being able to relieve the pain!
I can’t remember how many times I thought that I can’t stand this situation anymore. But as „I can’t“ is never an option in this case, you just move on!This is by far the most challenging time in my entire life…I’ve hit the wall countless times! I can hardly remember how a full night of sleep feels like and I’m sure that my face will soon become one large dark circle (thank the beauty industry for insanely covering concealer)!

There are moments when I feel like a total loser who’s not able to satisfy a tiny little human’s needs and days that feel like being captured in a time warp of doing laundry (a seriously tremendous amount of laundry), nursing, changing diapers and rocking my baby to sleep!

And then there are moments like these: Baby girl, daddy and I had good 2×3 hours of sleep without interruption, no tears but endless smiles in the morning.
Oh boy, I could stare at this pretty face forever, it all makes sense when she lies on my chest and I listen to the sweet little sounds she makes in her sleep! I breath her in…I swear her smell comes straight out of paradise, I avoid to move just to keep her there a little longer…
Those last four month have been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster ride! (Hello hormones, will you ever be in equilibrium again?) It is for sure the most turbulent, crazy, challenging and by far tearful time in my life!
But for absolutely NOTHING in the world would I want to change a single second. I’m pretty sure I’ve never felt more alive (sounds paradoxical, right?), needed and fulfilled.
The love I feel for this little human is not comparable to anything I ever felt before…
She’s not only the answer to our prayers, she’s also our piece of heaven on earth!
Happy 4 months, my love! You make everything a little – MORE…

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1 Comment

  • Reply Michelle 14. November 2016 at 12:49

    Oh mama! I could just feel every emotion you describe! First, your daughter is beautiful and has the most selfless mama on the planet! I’m sorry it has been so rough but pat your self on the back a little because you are caring for her like no one else could and you are succeeding – everything sweet Lani needs, her mama gives her. I feel terrible for her tears and your sleepless nights but I will just pray that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. And I do the same thing when my son is sleeping on me- just rub his little back and kiss his little head and think about how blessed we are to be parents. Sending you so much love! Michelle

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